SETTING: Bare stage except for odd chair, table
etc
STAGE: Blues half open, half tabs wide open, banjos closed
LIGHTS: none on stage, weak
FOH lighting (token effort to
provide difference)
SOUND: radio on Francis, single stand downstage
centre
FRANCIS: Welcome to the latest Harrow County School Annual Christmas Review. I’m Francis Matthews and I hope to jog a few memories with this “Chris Ents 2001” presented for one performance only…… unless there is a West End producer in the house. Since our last production, certain new fangled personal communication devices have been invented and I would ask you now to ensure these and pagers are turned off. In the best tradition of the Christmas Entertainment we have for your delectation the usual motley cast –
Just to top this off, we have the obligatory psychiatrist to tell you that you are imagining everything – including the teachers who banned the scenes not considered fit for public viewing. As you can imagine, the fight for the star dressing room (pause) S1 has been bitter and often underhand. The review you are about to see is based entirely on real persons and events and any likeness to your memories of this stage and people is entirely intentional. Harrow County certainly has much to answer for.
(good pause)
So…. best get on with it. (pause) The first recorded school dramatic production took place in 1914. No cast list survives, but the chances are that one Arthur Purton was involved in some aspect of the performance. Arthur was one of the first pupils at the school and had an abiding interest in drama. He became the driving force behind the Old Gaytonians Dramatic Society and was he who planned the stage we are performing on today. He was producing plays for the Old Gayts for over 50 years. We are delighted to have with us today….. Ronnie Stiff a member of the club who started his acting career at the school in 1928 and starred as Henry IV in the school production of 1934 and Dennis Stratton who won the ‘Acting Prize’ donated to the school by Arthur Purton, for his performance as ‘Bolingbroke’ in that same production. ‘The Merry Wives of Windsor’ in 1949 marked a return to productions after the war. Here are two of the regular producers….. Tony Davis and Hylton Oberst…… both of whom also continued to act with the Old Gayts.
ENTER: Hylton Oberst & Tony Davis
3 mins
own material supplied
FRANCIS: Thank you. Hylton Oberst and Tony Davis.
HO & TD sit instage
FRANCIS: Annual School Shakespeare productions continued and 1955 saw the addition of a regular Christmas production – the Christmas Entertainment (Chris Ents). The resourcefulness and versatility of school backstage crews was already highly developed. When a member of the cast of the 1958 School Review was unable to perform at short notice, someone was ready to step into the breach....
VOICE OFF: Norman (Nick) Tyrwhitt who Stage Managed the production "It was a sketch - an extract from the play ’The Reluctant Heroes’, Harry Mees volunteered to take over the role and wearing a uniform borrowed from one of the other masters who was in the Cadet Force. Somehow, he managed to incorporate a clipboard into his "bravura" performance. This prop was essential for on it was his script. At the curtain, he was given a tremendous ovation by both the audience and other members of the cast".
ENTER NT from rear
FRANCIS: Norman Tyrwhitt, stage manager of the review (pause) and barn storming colleague substitute actor (pause) Harry Mees.
Harry to come up from the audience.
STAGE: NT
takes position slightly behind Harry but between Harry & Francis
(long pause)
FRANCIS: So Harry, you thought you were coming here to tell us about your acting. Actually, you are here on this stage so that I can say to you:
Today Harry Mees, “This Is Your Backstage Life”
STAGE: Applause led from wings
STAGE:
Blues slowly close to intensify attention to centre stage
LIGHTS:
Full FOH lighting
SOUND: No FX
Any ad libs etc.
FRANCIS: We are going to take Harry off and reset the stage and will be back in 5 minutes.
SETTING: Nick T, & Francis walk HJM off to
back as blues close.
LIGHTS: FOH lighting to black
SOUND:
All mic sources killed
STAGE: Blues close
SOUND:
During stage setting, low level light nondescript interval type music.
SETTING: 25 chairs set in 2 rows across stage separated by central
aisle (rear rows on dais) Headmaster’s chair set stage centre left front
row Previous participants already seated
PROPS: Headmaster’s
chair, clipboard
STAGE (initially) Blues closed, half tabs drawn to
allow central rear entrance, banjos open:
LIGHTS: ¾ stage
lighting, full wings lighting
SOUND: radio on Francis, radio on
Harry, backstage stand mic, front downstage mic (to be positioned) back stage
monitor feed FX: This is Your Life Theme
STAGE MANAGER’S CUE: Music TIYL theme flourish and full FOH lights on Front Tabs
Previous participants already seated. Francis walks HJM on from back after second bar of music. As they appear full stage lights & FX on.
FRANCIS: Are you settled?
(ad libs to reduce tension)
Harry Mees, This Is Your Backstage Life.
Appearing in “The Reluctant Heroes” you were no stranger to Army Uniform. Following departure from your native Gloucestershire, you spent some time driving very wide tanks through rather narrow medieval arches before coming to these hallowed walls in 1947 - to teach History. A much loved teacher, an inspirational Master i/c stage, over the years you developed and trained schoolboys into highly efficient and devoted stage crews who were able to stage ever increasing and ambitious productions. Everyone started off as an apprentice under your wing before attaining any form of responsibility.
You will remember that backstage, there were three fundamental teams or trades - Stage Crew, Lights and Sound. Boys initially joined the Dramatic Club then entered the murkier area behind the blues in the 2nd or 3rd form, whereupon they were obliged to spend a "founding" year as an “junior apprentice” directly under your direct control and that of the resident Stage Manager before embarking on an trade apprenticeship. You trained them quickly and efficiently with safety always being paramount. Initially apprentices were not allowed to touch any anything – with the exception of a broom – they had to observe and act as a gopher - trying to learn as much as possible about where they could and could not go, and what was dangerous. As you always told them, “most things were”! Everybody learned under your control generating a genuine and highly backstage company.
Two of your most valued and well known possessions were your bodger and your pipe. Remember? (pause) I think we really ought to explain what a “bodger” is. Stage sets are temporary structures. They need to be held up securely, yet be easily taken down. A method you devised for this was the bodge – essentially a short cut that would hold a piece of scenery until the end of the production. To effect the “bodge”, you needed a “bodger” an imaginary tool you sent young apprentices looking for to get them out of the way. But even the best bodges sometimes failed.
VOICE OFF: Bob Garratt "During, I think, St Joan, one of the flats became unstable at the beginning of a scene and I dashed behind to stabilise it. Harry Joined me and to avoid impeding the actors, we had to lie on the floor for the remainder of the scene, bracing ourselves to stop the vast superstructure collapsing”.
FRANCIS: Someone who later received a stage staff certificate for “valiant service under enemy fire”…..Bob Garratt.
ENTER: BG
Then sits next TD
FRANCIS: Now that pipe (pause). We have it on good authority that during “The Critic” where you were seen lying flat on your stomach gently edging out behind the floor cyc lights to recover your pipe which you had dropped during the previous scene change.
"The Critic" was real a triumph for you and the Stage Crew of that time as you successfully destroyed the Spanish Armada before the eyes of the astonished audiences…. each night.
Jim Golland was another stalwart of school drama. A colleague of yours who in his 21 years at the school produced plays, wrote reviews, sold tickets and acted AND with him carrying the actual prop is the Stage Manager of the production, Steve Clyne.
PROPS: Whatever it is?
ENTER JSG &
SC
FRANCIS: Jim, no special effect was too difficult for the stage crew after that - I believe that Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay in 1965 required some rather unique moving props?
JIM GOLLAND/STEVE CLYNE: The bronze head on the Friar’s workbench had to speak and then implode slowly while clouds of smoke poured out of it. This was achieved by Harry lying under the bench, smoking his pipe and pulling strings to make the head look as if it were speaking. A new head was required for each performance.
JSG sits onstage to right of HJM, SC site on opposite side of aisle
FRANCIS: For a professional team to contemplate certain stagecraft was one thing, but the group of adolescents under your leadership continued to stretch the bounds of possibility. Scout shows provided Harry’s crew with opportunities to use ultra violet lighting effects, to create a real rain storm onstage and, to fly actors...
VOICE OFFSTAGE: Philip Levi: “You probably have me to thank for still having a stage and school hall at all. I was in charge of the curtains stage left. The tabs were closed and a couple of chaps were out on the front apron playing guitars and singing. Backstage there was a lot of activity. Peter Pan was being strung up in a harness on a wire near the cyc to "fly" across the stage in the next scene and there was an explosion being prepared underneath the trap door...........”
FRANCIS: Stage crew member and Scout leader Philip Levi.
SOUND: Riding along on the crest of a wave
ENTER PL
FRANCIS: And what happened next Philip?
PHILIP: The cue for the explosion of smoke and fire was the last line of the song, unfortunately no-one realised the last line of the song was also the same as the last line of an earlier verse. The chaps under the stage could not see what was going on above them on the apron so hearing what they though was the cue, they lit the fire. The singing and the music went on out front and I saw the flames coming out of the trap door directly under the closed tabs which were fire resistant, but not fire proof! So, I whipped open the tabs to clear the smoke and flames to reveal to a very startled audience an equally shocked Peter Pan being secured to a harness and wire on a step ladder half way up the back wall - very embarrassing for the stage staff all round!"
PL sits on opposite side of aisle to HJM.
FRANCIS: Such accidents were mercifully rare, though life as a stage crew member was neither without its excitement nor its opportunities for anarchy...
VOICE OFF: Bob Locker: “Despite winning the acting prize I decided to join the backstage crew putting my energies into the Bridge Club in the scenery store roof above the “B” corridor, wedging a disliked thespian's mini car tightly between the pilasters on the outside school wall and padlocking the skeleton from the Biology lab to a car door.”
FRANCIS: One of those tyrannical stage mangers that you trained. Often using his stage skills and dexterity to the full – around, in and even on top of the school – come in Bob Locker.
ENTER BL
SOUND: Batman theme
FRANCIS: Bob. Your stage baptism was at the age of 12 playing the mute slave leading in the blind Samson in Samson Agonistes. But really, your forté was back stage. I understand that when you left the school, you left an unique present and, why was “Batman” played for your entry?
BOB LOCKER: I made and fitted a gobo for batten one patt 23 lantern, but due to an interview I could not be present at my last assembly. Thanks to - and they can now be revealed Dave, Charlie and Jerry, when George Cowan stood up to give the daily announcements, flapping his gown and lifting his clipboard - as he did every day - the Batman Logo appeared on the back wall. If he didn't see it, the whole school did as did the masters in the back rows on the stage.
PROPS Clipboard
ENTER George Cowan
– creeps up to stand quietly between FM & BL
FRANCIS: So in fact, neither you nor George Cowan the intended victim, ever saw this send up.
(wait for respose – if any)
What’s that? (directs BL & GC to FX on cyc)
LIGHTS: bring up (instantaneous) Batman FX on cyc
SOUND: Final crescendo chord from ‘Batman’
BL sits next to PL, GC stays centre stage
LIGHTS: Batman FX fade out
FRANCIS: Now, George (fawning) (sir). Despite the discipline of the daily assembly, there could often be… er unpredictable events. A very real recollection of planned unpredictability comes from sometime Head Boy, Bruce Varley.
ENTER BV
FRANCIS: Now Bruce, how were you involved?
BRUCE VARLEY: Actually, I was not really involved. I knew nothing about it. I was as amazed as everyone else. It was the last assembly of the Summer Term. The previous evening had been the final performance of "Pirates of Penzance" and we had worked through most of that night (one of Harry’s “night time parties”) to strike the set. One of the props, a papier-mâché cannon which fired off at the end of the finale, was left on stage, just down there, (points to stage right prosc arch) because it was just too large to dispose of. I was leaving the school and it was the custom for the Headmaster to formerly thank the Head Boy on behalf of the prefecture. As I came forward to shake hands, the cannon fired off in salute - with an almighty bang and ball of smoke. I never did find out who was responsible.
FRANCIS: (sternly) You must be here, OWN UP NOW (pause) and go and stand under the clock.
GC sits with JSG etc, BV sits next to BL
FRANCIS: Let’s hear of another unexpected incursion into the daily assembly.
VOICE OFF: Dave Gordon: "One assembly, just before I left school in December 1968, I have a very distant memory of being under the stage during assembly and as the Head concluded his daily address to the masses, we cut into the PA system to publicise that night’s Christmas Entertainment. How naive to think my voice would not be recognised."
FRANCIS: Another Stage Manager who couldn't resist managing an assembly. Today he still dabbles in stage management, but on a slightly larger scale. He had overall responsibility for BBC’s television output of the last Olympic Games and has been a controlling Editor of ‘Grandstand’. Come in DAVE GORDON and his partner in crime under this very stage, now Professor CHRIS McMANUS.
ENTER Dave Gordon & Chris McManus
SOUND: Grandstand theme
FRANCIS: Chris, I believe you have a message to read.
CHRIS McMANUS: Yes, I have a message from someone who was in the props department.
(reads letter from Sir Paul Nurse)
DG & CM sit opposite HJM
FRANCIS: It was not until 1968 that girls formally appeared in school productions. Up until that time, female parts were taken either boys or sisters of boys or indeed borrowed by kind permission of the Headmistress at Harrow County Girls School. With the formation of the joint dramatic society “Convergence” this changed. Convergence’ first production in the Summer of 1968 was an anthology "Contrasts" and most of the cast and stage crew of that production here today . Appropriately the first joint Shakespearian production was "Romeo and Juliet" in Spring 1969.
SOUND: Richard Salter playing the intro music for R&J;(He’s contacting Dave about this)
FRANCIS: The producer of that production, Fred Bilson.
ENTER FB sits next to GC
FRANCIS: Have you anything to say Fred?
(FM:
you're on your own from here! Anarchy can happen with FB)
FRANCIS: Typical of the artistic designers, the set was complex. The Harrow Observer of the time said it looked "as if the Capulets had got the decorators in". Typically Harry, you and the crew rose to the challenge by producing a working fountain on stage - but all was not smooth sailing....
VOICE OFF: Richard Salter “On the penultimate night they changed the set one scene too early and a poor monk wandered in, looked up, realised he had no idea where he was or what scene it was - and panicked”.
FRANCIS: One of those who confused the priest, Richard Salter.
ENTER: RS wait to answer question from Francis
FRANCIS: …and the Confused Priest - someone rather more used to reacting to the unexpected these days, Michael Portillo.
ENTER: MP, shake hands with Fred
FRANCIS: So Dickie, did Harry have any special way of dealing with stage crew who made horrible mistakes during performances?
RICHARD SALTER: At the post production party on the next evening Harry presented an illuminated scroll - which he must have been up all night making - listing all concerned and admitting them to the "14ft FLAT CLUB".
FRANCIS: And what is/was this “14ft FLAT CLUB”?
RICHARD SALTER: This is the club named after the large piece of scenery one generally had to drop, during a performance, before becoming a member.
FB sits with CG, NT & JSG, MP & RS sit with DG & CM
FRANCIS: Girlfriends and Mothers had been roped in to productions to help with make-up and costumes before 1968, but for this production the first two girls joined the stage crew - in the properties department.
VOICE OFF: Katie Finch “For two years I had been hanging around the stage painting scenery with the Old Gayts and then in 1968 I started doing props for Convergence . Harry just accepted this alien creature onto the stage as it was clear he wasn't going to get rid of me. It was great working somewhere where anything was possible - regardless of what sex you were. I remember asking for a hammer and nails in an art class at the girls school and getting the reply ........"hammer and nails, this is a girls' school".
FRANCIS: From the converging ladies, Jo Hutber and Katie Finch.
ENTER Jo Hutber and Katie Finch (who will slope off again to shove people onstage)
FRANCIS: From September 1970 other girls joined other backstage departments, lights, sound and stage management-
VOICE OFFSTAGE :Elaine Findlay: I have never referred to a claw hammer as anything other than a "Delia" since my time with Harry and the stage staff. Friends, neighbours and offspring have all had to be given a translation.
ENTER: EF
FRANCIS: Elaine. What are your memories of particular sets you worked on?
ELAINE FINDLAY: I remember Harry talking to us about the original idea for the Hamlet set – which seemed to require two great feats of engineering - Elizabeth and Victoria - they would have two faces and a hollow inside about 3ft deep. They would rotate 360° to allow a quick scenery change. The idea was that a member of the stage staff would sit inside each of them throughout the performance and move them on cue. Before each performance they would take in with them sticky buns and bottles of pop beside them to ensure they didn't go hungry or thirsty.
EF Sits in second row behind SC etc
FRANCIS: You always had elegant female names for mobile sets, didn’t you Harry? One multi-functional set, “The Queen Mary”, was typical…. and like most women, had a mind of its own. It was a concertina-type construction mounted to castors and you will remember that during one performance the rake of the stage allowed it to gently start to roll toward the audience. Unlike most sets, it actually survived for many years, living a somewhat sheltered life beneath the organ loft (pointing) over there.
The Hamlet set was the largest ever built – I know, I designed it. It turned out to be both a set painter’s and stage manager's nightmare having plastic egg boxes stuck all over one its huge walls. It seemed like a good idea at the time - but they just would not stay up and had to be replaced and checked every night – before the performance, in the interval often with running repairs during the show. Nearly the complete cast and crew are here today, but from thirty years ago this year, the producer of that monumental epic, Gerry Lafferty.
ENTER:GL sits next to FB, JSG, HJM.
FRANCIS: The Hamlet set was not the only one to cause problems for the stage staff. Anyone on the stage crew will remember your elegant stage outfit….. very necessary when working with stage paint
VOICE OFF: Andrew Pittam “We were working on a set for Jim Golland, I can't remember which production - and were at the point of sizing and painting the flats. Harry described the colour as "sick making puce". We were about half way through, it was prize giving day or some such and Harry came onstage wearing his best suit...”
FRANCIS: (interrupting) Here to reveal what happened next, Andrew Pittam.
ENTER: Andrew Pittam.
FRANCIS: So, what did happen?
ANDREW PITTAM: Harry got rattled at a ladder being in the wrong place and began to drag it elsewhere when a bucket of sizing glue on top of the it emptied itself all over him. Harry was dumbstruck, not so much at the mess it had made of his suit, but quite how he was going to explain it to his wife who had told him not to go onstage wearing it. We, the younger stage hands drew Lots as to whom would break the news. I think it was Clive Armstrong who was despatched to do that deed.
AP sits in second row behind SC
FRANCIS: Despite the hazards of stage paint and scenery, during the years between 1969 & 1971, the school was staging, under your guidance, a record six or more productions a year, which was reduced during 1972-77 to four a year.
But things changed when the Girls School became a Sixth Form College and the Boy’s school lost its sixth form. The school and stage crew had to adjust. With the sixth form leaving, some of the younger boys had to learn the skills of the job by trial and error.
VOICE OFF: Mike Simmonds “It was my first ever entry to the backstage world and I had been persuaded to lend a hand to become the scenery manager. Having researched the style of decor that would be appropriate, Ian Doyle and I set off to Covent Garden with a small budget to purchase some stage paints and size. I had never done anything like this so it was a bit of a novelty.”
VOICE OFF : Ian Doyle We returned to the school with the paint and set about mixing it. The instructions were clear on the ratio of size to paint and the need to bring the paint to the boil then simmer.
FRANCIS: Two stage crew who in 1976 added more drama to an assembly in than they intended, Mike Simmonds and Ian Doyle, set painters for "A Victorian Evening".
ENTER Mike Simmonds & Ian Doyle
FRANCIS: So Mike, where did you actually cook this paint?
MIKE SIMMONDS: The only access we had to a heat source was in the cleaner’s room near A10. The single ring gas burner was fine for lighting cigarettes, but not boiling a two-gallon bucket of paint. It just wouldn't boil. Ian suggested adding more size, so we did. After about 2 hours we had a lukewarm mix which I applied to the flats. It seemed to coat well so I left it to dry overnight. Just before Assembly the next day I inspected the flats, the paint had crystallised and even worse the flats had warped due to the of copious amount of size. Harry had to loosen the tie ropes cleating the flats together. During assembly I just wanted the ground to swallow me up as the flats creaked increasingly and one bent in half and cracked. It stopped Joe Avery in his tracks and Harry had to get up and remove it before it collapsed completely.
MS & ID sit behind SC & BL etc
FRANCIS: It wasn’t just assemblies that the stage crew managed to halt. Johnnie Morrell managed to wreck the dress rehearsal of Hamlet with a unnervingly convincing cry of "fire" that had the whole cast and crew proving just how fast they could leave the stage and, in 1970, The “Duchess of Malfi” had an unscripted teabreak.....
SOUND: Extract from Duchess of Malfi.
FRANCIS: The producer of The Duchess of Malfi, (pause) the original Clive Anderson.
ENTER: CA sits with other staff
FRANCIS: …and the lighting supervisor who wanted his tea, Peter "Min" Vincent
ENTER: Peter Vincent
FRANCIS: After all these tales of things that went wrong it is only fair to end with a tale of something that went right. Something and demonstrating the teamwork that typified your stage crews…. the power cut in “Happy Poison”. So, what happed “Min”?
MIN: The Chris Ents 1970 happened at a time of the power cuts. We arranged a standby lighting system which consisted of a hut built in the inner quad from plastic stage bricks. Every night, Alastair Muir sat in it, in the freezing cold it, with a standby portable generator, car batteries to power the lights (which were car headlamps fitted to the shells of normal stage lights) and an arrangement of ropes that Paul Lewis would pull to signal loss of power to cue the back up lights operation. On the Friday evening the power went down so Paul, sitting in the sudden darkness (pointing) somewhere up there, 15ft above the stage on a scaffolding pole, signalled to Ali to start the “genny”. To cover the hiatus whilst the performing band raced around to find non-electric instruments to play, the crew did a set change and the audience were treated to the following impromptu performance.
FRANCIS: From thirty years ago….The “Inspector from OFCOM” the government agency for comedy standards.
LIGHTS: Dim stage lights and Stage right FOH. If
poss, single spot left apron on mic stand
SOUND: single stand mic
left downstage
ENTER: Bruce Boyd into lights spot GOES TO MIC:
Plays William Tell overture on his cheeks.
LIGHTS: Return to general stage lighting
ENTER PAUL LEWIS & ALISTAIR MUIR
FRANCIS: (with flourish) Bruce Boyd, and the back up lighting crew, …. Paul Lewis and Alistair Muir.
SOUND: Remove mic PV, BB
PL & AM sit in
second row behind SC
FRANCIS: Well Harry, you do seem to have had your fair share of impromptu events and here is yet one more……
Some of the people with whom you have been associated over the years.
From your staff colleagues (as per list to be supplied)
STAGE: Enter from backstage, down central aisle, shake hands, round down stage left and regroup behind those already seated stage left
FRANCIS: And the many students of the school who participated on, under, and over this stage…. From the heavy crew, props and painters (as per list to be supplied)
STAGE: Enter from hall steps stage left, across
stage, shake hands, continue into wings right and reform behind those seated
both left and right
SETTING: As stage fills, half tabs fully opened.
FRANCIS: From lighting (as above)….. From sound….. From front of house, box office & publicity…. and of course the actors
SOUND: At least 5 mins low level music whilst all gather on stage
FRANCIS: We have reached a fitting moment for a milestone in the history of this stage. A stage whose walls hold countless memories and whose rafters (looks up) way up there, still contain the schoolboy embellishments and engravings of many of those here today. This stage has never previously held so many participating individuals at any one time, in a formal production. There are 100 of you on this stage, right now. It is a landmark and a mark of respect to you Harry, that will probably never be surpassed.
(pause ….with solemnity)
You Harry, served Harrow County School for almost half of its existence. Yet there is a single person whose presence of mind, relentless drive and determination STILL serves this phantom school. A school that was without doubt, a jewel in the history of 20th century secondary education in this Country. He is far too young to be part of the halcyon years but through him, Harrow County - The School, still lives. He alone maintains the memories of Harrow County (pause) Alex Bateman.
ENTER: Alex Bateman
FRANCIS: (jovial) There is one last and very important item that needs to be resolved. Here is Will Buckland.
ENTER Will Buckland
WILL BUCKLAND: Harry. For almost 40 years you have been the driving force in teaching harmony, enthusiasm, enjoyment, knowledge, dexterity and skill… making young people well rounded and more easily assimilated into society. How many teachers can say with pride, that they have instructed Judges, eminent doctors and even a Nobel Laureate, in “bodgery”. Yet, it would seem that in all the time you were Master in charge of the stage, you were never a paid up member of the Stage Crew. In fact you were never a member at all. So to redress this, we are making you an honorary member by presenting you with this certificate which says…
Reads directly from certificate then present it to Harry
FRANCIS: (pause) From all those with whom you have been associated – Harry Mees, This IS Your Backstage Life.
(Hands book to Harry)
SOUND: CUE chorus of school song then TIYL theme
(without intro flourish)
LIGHTS: house lights up or, part of
audience lit?
STAGE: JSG, GC, FM lead HJM and assembly to centre
front stage and holds. FM then steps back. Blues to remain OPEN